Days Without You

I do push-up today, as it isn't my routine, I stop on seventh count. I laugh, wonder if I tell you, you would be laughing too and obviously give me advice of other easy exercises. I automatically remember the way I teased your count while you did push-up on our video call. I go to minimarket, buy some foods and pick six cans of Bear Brand, as you told me to drink it routinely. Getting back to my room and search for some simple recipes so I wouldn't be bored. I checklist several recipes that I want to cook in a week, wonder if I could show you off the result, would you be proud of me? I turn my mind to listen to my currently favorite song, what's yours? Are you still listening to the songs that I like and you play me its guitar? I miss the way you play me Remembering Sunday by All Time Low or My Heart I Surrender by I Prevail. I'm missing that part, always.

I randomly think of how you're doing there. How your day goes on. Are you fine? Sigh. Hoping that reach you out as easy as it seems. 

I peel the orange and eat it. Really want you to know how proud I am of myself for eating fruit! I check my phone and my friends tell me the newest information of our current country situation. Do you know this information too? I hope so. Let's distract my mind over you by playing game. Of course the only game in my phone is Onet. Thanks for recommending this, it really helps to distract me as it's so hard to go on to the next level!

I'm hungry and looking for something to eat. Instant noodle. I always want to ask your permission everytime I want to eat that. I know it isn't necessary, but it always feels like you help me to restrict this. I miss the way I ask you whenever I need to. What kind of variant do I want to cook? I pick the Ayam Bawang but then my eyes see the Soto Mie variant. Ah, I always remember that you like Soto Mie. My mind goes to the day we went to Bogor, searched around for food, we walked through the Soto Mie cart. I offered you but you told me you were bored eating that as you already had it days ago. Then I remember we walked across the street, you wrapped your arm around my neck, ate fried chicken for lunch, took break in mosque, had a good walk and talk at Kebun Raya Bogor. Why can't I get you out of my mind?

It's time to sleep. I spend my every single night hoping that I have the chance to meet you again. I look at the roof and wonder again, would you feel grateful someday that you met me in your life? A never-ending question. 

...and my days without you always goes like this. I also wonder why. I just learn that this is how to love someone in silence.