Because it's our dreams.

"No matter how long it takes, how far your step is, how big your fear is, and how strong your effort is, you'll try to reach your dreams. Because it's your dream. Either you close your eyes or open them, you'll always try to go. Try to reach your dreams. Because, it's your real dreams."

Hidup sama saja seperti saat kita berdiri dengan mata terpejam. Seperti takut. Takut ada yang menghadang, takut mendapat pukulan, ataupun takut mendapati orang-orang menertawakan kekurangan kita. Namun, kita tidak pernah takut untuk bermimpi. Menurut orang-orang, apabila mata kita terpejam, kita akan lebih mudah memakai imajinasi kita. Dan bermimpilah. Bermimpi seolah-olah itu akan menjadi nyata. Seolah-olah, people won't be able to destroy our dreams. Tidak akan ada yang menertawakan kita, ataupun memandang dengan pandangan keji. Karena kita sedang terpejam, karena kita memberanikan diri untuk terus melangkah, walaupun terkadang ketakutan kita seribu kali lipat lebih besar daripada langkah kita.

Tapi kita harus terus melangkah.

Namun, hidup seperti berlari mengelilingi dunia yang indah, dengan mata terbuka, tentunya. Sangat indah. Terlalu indah hingga kita tidak ingin berhenti. Dan kita tetap harus bermimpi. Sama saja dengan kita berada di sebuah ruangan yang gelap gulita, dan kita terus berlari, mencari arah atau celah, ataupun cahaya, hanya untuk membimbing arah kita, menuju tujuan kita. Walaupun dengan mata terbuka, kita tidak pernah takut melihat orang-orang menertawakan kita. Apalagi memberi pukulan. Karena kita bisa tidak memperdulikannya. Dengan mata terbuka, kita dapat melihat semua tantangan yang akan kita hadapi. 

Dan teruslah melangkah, sampai cahaya itu terlihat.

But I won't give up tomorrow.

They say, nothing's too late.

It's never too late to stop regretting about something or someone that ruins your life. But I disagree. Maybe it's true, I will be able to stop regretting it, but I won't be able to stop remembering it. I can't stop hoping everything will come back, sooner or later; the time, things, people. I just need someone who tells me that everything will be alright. If I could change everything, I would. The truth is, the things had already happened. And I can't change it. However, people always wish that they're possible to change everything. Including me. But 'change' doesn't mean 'fix'. It's useless to change a thing but not going to fix it.

And sometimes I give up.

But I don't give up to be strong. I always tell my self that I'm supposed to be strong. But I'm a human. It's okay to feel tired, isn't it? I know I should fix everything, I should fix myself. Because it's not enough to change a thing without fix it, like I said before. But sometimes I give up. I give up to keep wanting about things which will never come back. About things which I missed. I give up, but I'm still trying. Life's too short to worry about un-fix-able things. But life's too precious to give up too fast. Is it too fast to give up? After all those fuckin' things I have got? I may give up today, but I won't give up tomorrow.

Cause you had a bad day.

2 days left, it was totally bad days.

Seandainya aku bisa berteriak kencang, hanya untuk membuat dada ini tidak sesak lagi, aku ingin. Kata orang, hari buruk itu selalu ada, dan pastinya dibalik hari buruk, ada hari yang menyenangkan. Dua hari kemarin terlalu berat. Bukan karena orang-orang di dalamnya yang ikut andil membuat hariku menjadi tidak sebaik yang aku harapkan. Tapi karena aku merasa orang-orang tersebut tidak benar-benar disana. Sepi, seperti sendiri. Seperti...menghilang. Seperti tidak ada yang akan pernah mengerti.

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

Past or Past?

Some people through their life despairingly. Aku menganggap bahwa sesuatu yang terjadi di masa lalu seharusnya dikenang, mungkin momen-momen terbaik saja yang memang pantas untuk dikenang. Aku belum bisa mencerna, mengapa yang dinamakan 'masa lalu' bisa mempengaruhi masa yang kita lalui sekarang. Everything that happens now, depends on the past. Kalau dipikir-pikir, sih, terlalu lucu untuk menganggap yang lalu tetaplah lalu. Karena bukan tidak mungkin kita menganggapnya belum berlalu. Yang 'bermasalah' bukan masa lalu-nya, tetapi momen yang terjadi waktu itu.

Memorizing all the beautiful moments is the best thing people always do. Saking the best-nya, rasanya itu pingin punya remote yang bisa nge-pause, play, dan skip semaunya. Karena mengenang hal yang indah itu wajib, karena jelas tidak ada momen yang terulang dengan sama persis. But, remembering all the painful moments as fuckin' horrible as it seems. Rasanya itu seperti habis buat minuman yang masih panas, terus ketumpahan, tepat di permukaan kulit. Perih. 

Terlalu perih hingga sulit untuk menyembuhkannya.

I'm supposed to be strong, no matter how hard it is.

Before I Fall (Lauren Oliver)

Such an amazing book ever from Lauren Oliver actually. This is a highly recommended book in this year! It has been driving me crazy for 3 weeks and I can't even put it down. It's fuckin' awesome and I hope that it will be a movie. After I read this book, I always think about "if there's no tomorrow..." and it'll make my life better, because I know that I have to make my life useful for others. You guys should read it! Check this out, Lauren Oliver's Website

Synopsis:

What if you only had one day to live? What would you do? Who would you kiss? And how far would you go to save your own life?

Samantha Kingston has it all: looks, popularity, the perfect boyfriend. Friday, February 12, should be just another day in her charmed life. Instead, it turns out to be her last.

The catch: Samantha still wakes up the next morning. Living the last day of her life seven times during one miraculous week, she will untangle the mystery surrounding her death--and discover the true value of everything she is in danger of losing.